Dear Otea:
I have recently become very interested in my family history, but am realizing that there are so many questions I won't ever know the answers to! This pains me a little … how can I honor my ancestry and sit comfortably in the unknown?
Cara Mia:
The conversation has already begun! So live in the question and let it unfold. From the side of life, I know it can sometimes seem linear. A call and a response. An ask and an answer that leads you from here to there. And yes, certainly, your history has backbone. It has the people in their places and you, trying to trace their steps and track their scent. But from the other side, from all sides—where I sit—your history also has breath. It arrives through transmission. Through the moments when you’re caught in a movement that seems like more than just yours. A gesture that feels unconscious. An inexplicable craving. A choice without clear pros or cons. This is the conversation. In these moments of mystery, your family reaches for you. They are as present in the space that surrounds the photograph as they are bound within its frame. Scour the archive. Delight in the stories told and the letters written. But know that their lives, and yours, are made as much from what you allow to come undone as they are from what was said and done. You must let their lives live through your own longing. Otherwise, your ancestors have no way to reach for you and nowhere to go. And when you let them come out of nowhere, and be with you everywhere, you’ll both come closer to home.
Un abbraccio forte,
Otea